Embracing Silence at the Holidays - A How To
Embracing Silence at the Holidays - A How To
One of the most enduringly popular Christmas carols is, ironically, about silence and stillness. It can be hard to square with our ordinarily chaotic holiday traditions in much of the world.
But this year, in the year of unusual holidays and milestones, we might spend a little time thinking about the importance of silence.
Your Brain And Body Crave Silence
It turns out that silence is crucial for our brains to do some really important functions. One study found that, in silence, brains do important work of generating new cells, while another found that silence helps brains make important connections between ideas.
Physiologically, silence helps lower blood pressure, lower blood cortisol and adrenaline levels, and prevent plaque formation in arteries. It’s also linked to lower stress and overall improved wellbeing.
In other words, silence is more than golden: it’s medicinal.
Silence Helps Relationships
Silence doesn’t just help our own bodies and minds, though. It can be beneficial to our connections with others, too.
Therapists distinguish between positive silence and negative silence. Negative silence is where people give each other the silent treatment or don’t feel safe sharing with each other. Positive silence, though, leaves space for the kind of vulnerability that is essential to healthy relationships. It’s also linked to active listening because if you’re comfortable being silent yourself, you can give your loved one, friend, or colleague space to share.
How To Make Space for Silence In Your Life - Surrounded by Others
It can be particularly hard right now for those living with others to find time for silence at the moment. Everybody is home all the time thanks to Covid shutdowns and stay in place orders, which means houses are rarely still. If you’re in that kind of environment:
Try getting up a little earlier or staying up a little bit after the others have gone to bed.
You can also use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones and go into another room for a few minutes of quiet.
We’re normally advocates of reducing screen time, but if the only way you can get a bit of silence right now is to let your little one have some Blue’s Clues, we say go for it.
Maybe a new meditative hobby will do the trick.
How To Make Space for Silence In Your Life - On Your Own
Those who are living alone right now might be facing the opposite problem. Perhaps you’ve got the TV or radio on in the background nonstop to help yourself feel less alone. Maybe you’re inundated with nonstop Zoom meetings and happy hours in an attempt to keep relationships thriving and healthy. If that’s the case, it’s okay to:
Set aside some time for yourself to turn off the computer and the background noise so you can sit in stillness. Yes, it’s important to keep connected, but one of the most important connections you can maintain is the one with yourself. You need a little silence to do that.
As uncomfortable as it may sound, try to sit in silence and be grateful for the space. Remember that oftentimes the grass seems greener on the other side, but your silence maybe someone else’s green grass. Find something in your space and stare at it, appreciate every bit of it - we suggest a Christmas tree or your beautiful, even if messy, kitchen.
If you have a pet, spending some quality time with your animals will do wonders for you - we discuss this further here.
How to Embrace Silence at The Holidays
In this unusual holiday season, making space for silence might be easier than in previous years. Here are some ideas for silent holiday activities that will still help you feel festive:
Take an evening walk with a hot drink and look at the lights or shop windows in your neighborhood. If you live in a rural area, you’ve got the most magical holiday lights of all: the stars.
Make paper snowflakes without background noise. Snowfall is traditionally associated with quiet and stillness, so regardless of what the weather looks like outside, you can bring a little quiet snow into your life by folding paper and cutting it into pretty shapes.
Try a little silent meditation. Many people use guided meditations (we’re big fans here at Myrth!), but during this season, try a few minutes of silent meditation, too. See how it goes. It can be a good way to reframe your thinking and experiences without going anywhere.
Get the family together to read books in silence. If you are lucky enough to have a fireplace, perhaps setting the mood for a cozy night in. Or if you are alone, like many of us, get cozy with a book yourself (need a new book? Support independent bookstores)
Regardless of what your holiday season looks like this year, we hope you’re able to find space for silence and to find joy in that silence. And if all the social distancing gets a bit too much, we’ve got some more ideas for you here or we recommend simply rest (did you know there are 7 types of rest?)
Have you intentionally incorporated silence into your life? What does that look like for you? Leave us a note in the comments.
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