Is Being Alone a Guaranteed Predictor for Loneliness?
In many communities, being alone is considered strange, sad, even shameful. It’s too bad, because there are real benefits to periods of solitude, but these social attitudes prevent people from exploring and taking advantage of those benefits.
There is so much conversation about how humans are community-oriented creatures, but very little talk about how we need time to ourselves, too. It turns out alone time is an important tool for creativity, emotional health, growth, and so much more.
Being Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Being Lonely
People often think of loneliness as the automatic, logical result of spending time alone--but it doesn’t have to be that way. The Oxford Dictionary defines loneliness as “Sadness because one has no friends or company.” The key word there, of course, is sadness.
If you’re choosing to spend some time on your own, to be with yourself and explore the world on your own, then you’re less likely to feel sad about it. Even if your alone time isn’t self-chosen, you can choose to make that time a period of getting to know yourself and learning to love yourself. You can be your own friend, take yourself out on adventures, make yourself special meals, and say kind things to and about yourself.
Our founder Emma describes the difference between being alone and being lonely: “Being alone does not automatically mean you are lonely; rather, you are lonely if you think you shouldn’t be alone and have expectations to be with others.”
These periods of time on your own are an opportunity to know yourself more deeply and intimately, in ways you might not if you were always in the company of other people. It gives you the space and the quiet time to think through your thoughts about who you are, what you want, and how you move through the world.
Benefits of Being Alone
Regular periods of alone time have so many benefits that it’s hard to sum them all up, but here are just a few of the good things that come from alone time:
Spending time alone is a way to reset your relationship with the people and places around you, and with yourself, too. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to be on your own, whether that’s for a few hours here or there, an extended weekend away, or even longer if that’s what you need.
How to Be Alone in a Healthy Way
“If we are unable to be alone, we will always be lonely.” Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together
You can experience solitude for short or long periods in a healthy way, but it’s important to act intentionally and check-in with yourself regularly. Note whether you are still feeling emotionally even-keeled, whether you are still motivated to do the things you enjoy, and whether you are managing your basic daily activities comfortably. If any of these isn’t true, it’s time to reach out to somebody and spend some time connecting with another person.
Have you intentionally embraced alone time as part of your routine? What does that look like? Drop a comment below and share!
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