Imperfect Meditation: Not Everything Has to Be Perfect

Every now and then, our founder, Emma McLaren, will chime in here on the blog to share personal stories from her journey. This post is one in an occasional series.

“And then bring the attention back to the…” I jumped out of my meditative position and paused the charming voice from the Headspace app before he even finished his sentence. It was my 8th day of the 10-day introductory meditation practice--but I had started the program almost a month ago. Each session takes only 10 minutes, so why did it take me so long to get through the introductory practice?

Like any procrastinator, I felt guilty for procrastinating, of course. But in the middle of the beautiful British accented voice, I had this sudden moment of realization: 

It doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to be perfect.

People often confuse mindfulness with perfection. We think that if we are truly mindful, nothing will bother us and we’ll be able to manage even the most intense experiences. Yet the mantras tell us to be accepting of our feelings, thoughts, and the very fact that we are imperfect. 

Is there a disconnect here? 

“Meditation is not about perfection, but about personal and spiritual growth, and that process is different for everybody.”

Maybe. If I had perfectly followed the Headspace introductory program, I would have finished it in the allotted 10 days, but at what cost? Instead, I went at the pace that worked for me. Even though I took over a month to complete what’s supposed to be a basic 10-day meditation program, it doesn’t matter. Meditation is not about perfection, but about personal and spiritual growth, and that process is different for everybody.

Sometimes, it helps to have more concrete reminders of that fact. When I was in graduate school, I used to create motivational quotes for myself to combat the intensity of my program. I regularly told myself, “You are imperfect, but who the fuck cares because you are AMAZING and that is so much better!” 

I came up with my own mantra that helped me through those stressful times. This self-made quote reminded me that imperfection is simply a part of life, something as common-place and ordinary as crummy weather. We can’t get rid of it, so we learn to live with it.

Because here’s the thing: perfection isn’t real, anyway. Perfectionism is often a sign that you’re judging yourself too harshly and have an exaggerated sense of your own shortcomings. It can lead to self-defeating thoughts or behaviors, the very thing so many of us are trying to combat with our meditation practice. 

That little voice in your head, telling you that you’ll never be good enough at focusing so why bother trying to meditate in the first place?

It’s a dirty little liar. Don’t listen to it.

I took my time easing into a meditation practice. I did it on my own schedule, when it worked for me and my needs. You can, too. It’s okay. As the old saying goes, don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And anyway, now I meditate every day: so accept yourself and the journey you are on. 

What do you take at your own speed that may not fit with societal or cultural expectations? Leave a comment below and share your story with us!