5 Things You Should Know About Women's Circles
Sometimes, the experience of being a woman in the world can only be understood by other women. For those situations, women have increasingly been turning to formalized women’s circles for spiritual connection, kinship, and support.
Let’s get a common misconception out of the way first: a women’s circle isn’t just a brunch meetup or an occasional get-together with your best gal pals. It’s not even a networking group of women professionals or regular moms’ playdate at the park.
No, a women’s circle is something deeper, more intentional, focused on internal and external growth and connection. It is a purposeful gathering to build community, listen openly, and feel safe. In other words, “a women’s circle is a safe and sacred space for women to come together, use their voices, be heard and be seen.”
Women’s circles are a great, non-digital corollary to the nano-networks we use here at Myrth to support each other, hold each other accountable, and grow in positive directions. Some of our Myrth team members have been involved in different kinds of women’s circles over time, and the general consensus is that it has been a nourishing and restorative activity.
The thing is, due to their very nature, women’s circles can be kind of amorphous. They look different depending on who’s facilitating them, who’s participating in them, where they’re being held, and how often they gather. That’s okay. A women’s circle should meet the needs of its members.
Confused? No need to be. Here are five things about women’s circles that you should know:
Women’s circles can take almost infinite shapes. The important, defining characteristics of a women’s circle are that it meets regularly, is confidential among its members, is not judgmental, and is focused on deep, spiritual connection and support among its members. Beyond that, a women’s circle can take on all sorts of shapes. It can be a monthly gathering on the new or full moon. It can be a weekly group of ten women sitting in someone’s backyard. It can be an online group of 400 women who are in constant, supportive, nourishing communication. Whatever shape your women’s circle takes, it just needs to take that shape with purpose and clarity.
Women’s circles are egalitarian and nonhierarchical. Most successful women’s circles have a facilitator just to keep things on track and moving, but beyond that, there is no power structure within a women’s circle. That’s the point of the circle - everybody sits in a position of relative equality vis-a-vis each other member of the circle.
Women’s circles are focused on sharing and healing. Other groups might be focused on networking or skill-building or community service. These might all be incidental results of participating in a women’s circle, but the real purpose of a women’s circle is to share experiences and heal hurts. In doing so, the members develop deep connections with each other, and can provide support within the group and outside the group if asked for.
Women’s circles help you know yourself better. As part of the process of sharing yourself with the women in your circle, you come to know yourself better. You examine old hurts, current behavior patterns, future plans, and weigh and assess them against your personality and dreams and goals. It’s a process of self-discovery that is filled with potential and exciting
Women’s circles are safe spaces. Everything shared within a women’s circle is confidential. Members within the circle don’t share information from the group outside of the group. They are also purposefully nonjudgmental. This means that whatever you are grappling with or mulling over, you can share it with the group and know that it will go no further unless you yourself want it to.
If you’re interested in exploring women’s circles more deeply and possibly joining one, check out Meetup’s list of women’s circles, visit findawomenscircle.com for other options, or take a look at Gather the Women’s organization-specific offerings. You can also start your own women’s circle! There are great resources online, including this helpful guide from Heather Plett.
And sometimes, if you’re lucky, the right women’s circle finds you, not the other way around. We love this story from Annie Quick, who moved to a new apartment in Medellin, Colombia, and decided to check out a local cafe, only to find herself engrossed in an hours-long conversation with a new friend who leads a circle and invited her to join.
Now that’s serendipity.
Are you a member of a women’s circle? We’d love to hear about your experience (without disclosing anything confidential, of course!). Sound off in the comments below.