Five Tips for Maintaining Friendships in the Era of Social Distancing
Many of us are living under shelter-in-place orders, which means we’re staying home except for perhaps a weekly grocery run. It can be lonely and isolating--exactly the kind of thing we try to prevent here at Myrth.
So here are five of our tried-and-true tricks for maintaining relationships when you can’t be physically together. We think they’ll be useful for this era of social distancing.
1. Take advantage of the many ways of connecting via technology. We try to discourage unhelpful tech use, but times like this are exactly when technology can be so good. Thanks to our cell phones, tablets, and computers, we can now connect via phone call, text message, multiple instant messaging and chat platforms, social media, and several video conferencing services, too. Find the mode(s) of connection that works best for you and your loved ones, and use it. Use it a lot.
2. Focus on maintaining emotional closeness in your friendship, even if literal closeness isn’t possible. For a lot of people, life can be pretty scary right now. We need our loved ones, but being apart can feel like it’s putting strain on the very relationships we need. Luckily, that doesn’t have to be the case. As Anne Moyer, Ph.D., a Stony Brook University professor of psychology and scholar of friendship, told Refinery29, friendships can survive and even thrive across long distances so long as you work to maintain emotional closeness. Be open, honest, and vulnerable with each other about the good and bad things you’re feeling.
3. Don’t just dwell in the past. Build new memories together. To keep your friendship robust and healthy, you need to feed it new experiences. That can be hard in this era of social distancing, but it can be done. Use videoconferencing technology like Zoom or Skype to host virtual gatherings like book clubs, cookoffs, happy hours, dance parties and trivia nights. You can even visit a museum together, all from the comfort of your own couches.
4. Get creative when finding new ways to connect with each other. Think about some fun and funny ways to maintain your connection with your loved ones. You can send silly doodles and heartfelt notes through snail mail. Do they love a certain food? Use something like Postmates or Uber Eats to deliver it to them. You can commit to watching a show or reading a book together, invent a running inside joke that gives you excuses to text more often, or start a self-improvement project together that requires regular check-ins.
5. Take care of yourself. You can’t show up for friends near or far if you’re totally depleted, so self-care is crucial! Because of the physical separation involved, your relationships right now really thrive on emotional connection, vulnerability, and support for each other. That means you need to be in a place where you can give and receive that kind of emotional care. Remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup. You just can’t.
The national social distancing guidelines here in the U.S. were recently extended through April 30. What does that mean? Work from home whenever you can. Avoid unnecessary travel and errands. Don’t visit vulnerable populations, such as the elderly and those with compromised immune systems. Don’t gather in groups of larger than 10 people, and if you must gather at all, keep physical distance between yourself and everybody else.
But with a little creativity, that physical distance doesn’t have to mean emotional distance, too. Hold tight to your loved ones, even if you can’t use your arms to do it.
How are you holding up during this time of separation? Drop us a comment and let us know.
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