Are Men’s Circles a Real Thing?

Quick: think of the manliest man you know. What’s he like? Odds are pretty good that, if you’ve grown up in the United States, you’ve thought of a man who doesn’t talk much about his feelings and doesn’t show vulnerability. You’re not alone.

It’s pretty common to conflate masculinity with emotional reserve and limited conversation. In fact, some might even say that’s the very definition of masculinity, that one is a man once he can control his emotions and not show them. 

Men’s circles, with their focus on openness and vulnerability, seem to fly in the face of that idea. It makes some people ask whether men’s groups can be a real thing. 

We get it, but we think those concerns are overblown. Men’s circles are thriving, serving thousands of men every week and helping them reach each other and themselves in deeper, more authentic ways. They’re a great tool in your self-improvement toolbox--they just can’t be the only tool.

The Butterfly Effect of Men’s Circles

Take the ManKind Project, for example. They’re just one organization that facilitates men’s groups. According to their website, they support over 1,000 peer-led groups that meet weekly, offering opportunities for connection and growth to over 10,000 men around the world each week. Those numbers aren’t shabby, and there are countless other organizations doing similar things.

And sure, in a world of over 7 billion people, 10,000 men might not seem like a whole lot - but multiply those men by the people they each come into contact within their communities, and you start seeing a butterfly effect. Remember how each of those men can be involved in multiple organizations at the same time, spreading what they’ve learned in their men’s group to people who would never have even considered joining a men’s group otherwise. 

Using Nano-Networks to Support Your Men’s Circle

Like any organization, men’s circles have their vulnerabilities. They run the risk that the members’ commitment to their group’s creed may be only surface-level, and that when the group’s beliefs come up against hard realities, the beliefs will crumble. There’s also the possibility that self-interest of the members will trump doing what’s best for the group overall. Those are risks in just about any organization, though, from religions to public service organizations to knitting circles.

We think one way to help reduce those risks is to involve nanonetworks like we do here at Myrth. Having a large group for growth and discussion but then supplementing with a nano-network for accountability is a great way to keep yourself moving forward. It provides input and feedback through multiple channels. That means that, on any given day, you’ll be getting encouragement and support in several different ways, all of them pushing you toward the same end goal.

We’re also big believers in the idea that no single tool is going to help you achieve your goals. If you’ve seen a person join a men’s circle and fail to achieve any real growth, it can be tempting to write off the whole concept of men’s circles.

That’s too simplistic, though. Men’s circles are one way to achieve growth, but they should be used in connection with other tools - habit-tracking, journaling, therapy, educational reading, and so on. 

See, the thing is, men’s groups are absolutely a real and vibrant and valid phenomenon, but they can’t fix the world on their own. That requires individual commitment, a commitment that is renewed each day when we get up in the morning and perhaps even several times throughout the day.

So join a men’s circle. Do the work. Use all the tools at your disposal. Help make things better for everybody.

Have you been a member of a men’s group? How did you integrate the lessons from your men’s group into your other self-growth tools? We’d love to hear - drop a comment below.